Buckle Up: Nigerian Road Trips Are Not for the Weak

Ah, the ‘joys’ of Nigerian road trips!

You know what they say, “life is a journey, not a destination,” and nowhere is that more true than on the highways and byways of Nigeria. But let me tell you, if you’re faint of heart, you might want to think twice before hitting the road.

First of all, let’s talk about the roads themselves.

Have you heard of potholes? In Nigeria, they’re more like sinkholes. I’m pretty sure some craters on the moon are less deep than some of the potholes you’ll encounter on a Nigerian road trip.

And don’t think you’re safe just because you’re driving on the “good” roads. Those are the ones that have been patched so many times; they’re basically held together with ‘vibes and inshallah.’

Then there’s the traffic.

Oh, the traffic. If you thought rush hour in your city was bad, you haven’t experienced Lagos traffic. It’s like a game of Tetris, except instead of blocks, you’re trying to fit cars, buses, and motorcycles into impossibly small spaces. And if you’re lucky enough to be on a road trip while it is raining, let’s just say you might as well bring a good book because you’re not going anywhere fast.

But the real danger of Nigerian road trips comes from the other drivers.

Nigerian drivers are some of the most fearless, reckless, and unpredictable drivers you’ll ever encounter. They’ll overtake on blind corners, weave in and out of traffic, and honk their horns so much you’ll think you’re at a cacophonous orchestra performance.

And don’t even get me started on the roadblocks.

You’ll encounter police checkpoints every few miles, where officers will demand to see your license, car registration, insurance, and firstborn child. Okay, maybe not the last one, but you get the idea. And if you don’t have all your paperwork in order (or even if you do), you might find yourself paying a “fine” on the spot.

But hey, all of this just adds to the adventure, right?

Nigerian road trips are not for the faint-hearted, but if you can survive them, you’ll have some amazing stories to tell. Like when you drove through a flooded street, and your car stalled, or the time you saw a goat riding on the back of a motorcycle, or you got lost and ended up driving through a market.

You never know what will happen on a Nigerian road trip, but one thing’s for sure: it won’t be boring.

So, if you’re up for a challenge, pack your bags, fill up your tank, and hit the road. And remember, if all else fails, take a deep breath and keep your sense of humour. After all, it’s all part of the Nigerian road trip experience.